No. 1 Music Video (Masturbation?)

We're just reaching for the sky here.

Spank The Monkey by Skot Walden

But what about dildos? I've got your answer right here with a close number 2 best video featuring masturbation.

You're not a Torry, are you?

Now that the Masturbation is catching on like wildfire among our nation's youths, there's only one question left to answer. Where are they learning about Masturbation?

Wanker World

It's not just the kids though. Masturbation is affecting all levels of our society, from rich to poor. If you don't believe me, just take a look at this video from an up and coming star, possibly related to the one and only Joe Roberts.

Lonely Man Blues

Honorable Mention

Not a Top 5 masturbation song. Maybe not a masturbation song at all. But close on both counts.

Speaking of art house animations

If you haven't had a chance to see "The Animation Show", compiled by Don Hertzfeld and Mike Judge, consider yourself eagerly encouraged. The film below is on volume one, as are the following by Adam Elliot, and they are incredible. There is another called "Uncle", but I can't find it anywhere online.

Brother

Cousin

I am a Disco Dancer

Disco the Buggles

Bollywood, Oh! Bollywood! Where did this obsession begin? Maybe in Russia, where Bollywood movies played fairly often during daytime TV. Then it all blew up, but not modern Bollywood. We're talking oldies. Covers of Western hits reimagined in Hindi. Low production values, aggrandized plots and portrayal rendered a stylized version of everyday life that seems much more fabulous than the real thing could ever be. But don't get depressed! Use it as a guide to influence your interactions in this life. Take everything to extremes! DANCE!

I am a Disco Dancer

The proverbial title track. At this point in the movie, out star has already changed his destiny substantially. Growing up as a fatherless street child who performed for food with a foster father figure/wandering street performer, Jimmy's mother worked as a maid for a very rich and powerful man... the father of Disco Sam. Sam was the King of Indian Disco, if not the whole world. But when a rambunctious street performance leads Jimmy and his mentor into the grounds of this private residence to play with the daughter, it invites trouble. Seeing the lower classes swarming around his private property, the father takes Jimmy's guitar and stops the entire song and dance. He threatens to have Jimmy arrested after pushing down his mother, who hurts her head on a rock and almost dies. But no one will believe the street child Jimmy. Oh injustice!

Jimmy, Adja!

His rise to fame attracts the jealous of disposed Disco King Sam and his father, who conspire to bring Jimmy down. Sabotaging a guitar to be presented to Jimmy at an awards ceremony with a live current of deadly electricity, their victory seems assured when suddenly Jimmy's mother, aware of the assassination plot, grabs the guitar before Jimmy can. Killed in a flash of technicolor madness, the villains are foiled but Jimmy develops a guitar phobia, rendering him unable to perform just days before the international Disco Championship. What can be done? Jimmy's girlfriend does her best to motivate him not to give in, but is unsuccessful. Woe unto us! But just as the shoes are beginning to fly from the audience, a man steps into the theatre. It's Jimmy's former mentor, the street performer! He reprises an earlier tune about the poor not having money, but always having their songs and throws his guitar to Jimmy. They scream at each other, battling wills in a brief moment, and then the rest is left up to Jimmy, with a watchful audience...

Yaad Aa Raha Hai

True fans will be obliged to own or at least watch the entire film, which is an honest underground classic. You can find copies for around $3 from Eros Entertainment, or (lucky lucky) watch it online! No english subs though!

Jon the Dog

Rare "Live" Footage

Just a short clip to keep the obsession burning. It's hard to find live event listings in Japanese, but if we can manage it we'll do our best to get more info on this mysterious woman. However, for our more pervy readers, let it be known that there's some rather tasteful nude photography featuring John and a white rabbit friend in the book 'Universe for Rent'. Highly recomended reading!

More of English in Japan

Ah Japan! Ever ready source of inspiration!

Ever since Japan's borders were forced open by some heavyhanded diplomacy, the world's had a thing for our neighbors to the east. Call it Orientalism, Yellow Fever, ... whatever! But we know genius when we see it here at Platypussy Records, so let the naysayers nay away!

Let's Play in English Japanese Kids' Show

Ahh, English in Japan... granted yours truly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a series of government programs stretching back to the beginning of Japan's interaction with the West. Foreign Advisers were imported to bring the country into 'modernity', but at what cost? Well maybe things moved a little too fast. English words, often absorbed as jargon long before their linguistic roots were studied to the point of understanding, have flooded and mutated inside of Japan. Rendered with a phonetic alphabet which does not recognize consonants but only consonant and vowel combinations, words like 'dog' and 'cat' become 'doggu and catto'. Incorrect to native speakers... trendy to the Japanese? They say the average elementary school student in Japan already knows 1000 English words via their Japanese pronunciations.

Great Hamburger

Eric is a 'tarento'. But who can blame him, he's living the dream. Appearing in a regular NHK educational segment, he jams on his guitar in a way that would make him welcome on any of our tours. Yet are we fooling ourselves here? Is this really a way to English fluency/proficiency? With their English scores being some of the lowest in modernized Asia in addition to all the money being thrown at the problem, what's the deal? Why learn English anyway?

Exercise, Drama, .... English?

Because you might get mugged in a highly dangerous foreign country! In addition to blaming many internal crimes on foreigners (Ethnic Chinese and Korean immigrants are largely seen to be the force behind organized crime in Japan), most Japanese seem quick to point out the dangerousness of most Western countries. Maybe so, since media of all kinds sensationalizes violence, but then again couldn't it have something to do with how foreigners are depicted in popular culture? They used to appear quite often as low level thugs for evil guys due to their stature and physiques. Especially black men. In fact, up until 20 years ago, blackface singers, mascots, etc were highly mainstream. Even now, Lil' Black Sambo still lives on in the 'cuteness' market of children's books and plushies. Why does it seem like Japan is living in the past?

Peekaboo!

This could be just a simple case of being to serious... Japan is notorious for having one of the longest 'childhoods' in the world, so much so that it's not uncommon for adults to be obsessed with stuffed animals and wear plastic accessories of a whimsical nature. Ultimately, English education for children will always have to fall into Edutainment. Why not join the Bliss Abyss and grab an instrument? Cuteness will back you up, 1000%. Alongside insanity from Japan.

Who brings the candy?

Poor kids got drum machines?

Platypussy, Inc. as a natural trend avoids realms pop music and techno, in no small part because both leave scant room for improvisation. If only there was a way to truly compose spontaneously (knob twisting don't count), one that didn't involve a great deal of software and hardware...and music comes full circle with the beatbox. The human voice is the most primitive source of music, yet the beatbox melds that organic instrument with the sounds electronic music has born in the last few decades. Beatboxing is admittedly a little goofy, but we're allowed our guilty pleasures:
First, the professional (notice the crossover appeal with the crowd):


Another "Idol" phenomenon from abroad:


But if that's a little too polished for you, the hybrid raw gremlin style:


Has every industrial nation now cashed in on an "Idol"?



Belgium has a beatbox champion? Roxorloops...


This also came up during the search. Why not?


Finally, the true Platypussy style:

Campy horror in your own backyard

Why can't Americans keep up with crazy visionary Japanese horror films? Always looking for the quick buck, perhaps?

Spooky, Yet Satisfying

Like most things awesome, today's post is inspired by a product of a foreign culture. Japanese culture! Nobuhiko Obayashi was/is (he's got a new movie coming out soon, but you'll never see them outside of Nippon) a great experimental director. His aesthetic is noted for it's complete lack of conservative reserve, often instead opting to throw every effect in the book and then some into his films. The result? Genius.

House Trailer

Hausu (House without the Katakana accent) was released in 1977. It features 7 young girls who go to visit their aunt. It's been suggested that this movie be regarded as a parody of the horror genre since each girl seems a grotesque version of stereotypical characters (a chronic overeating fat girl, a pretty girl, a nerdy girl... etc.). In fact in the beginning of the film, you could easily mistake it for some sort of hippy revisioning of a Marx Brothers film.

In the Beginning...

Then the anacondas are let lose from the zoo and your world is turned upside down. Worse than any delusional 'There be snakes on this plane" utterance, you've got to worry about cat paintings vomiting blood and instruments with appetites. All beautifully represented with pre-CGI effects. Charming? Of course! Inspiring? All the more so!

Death By Piano

Rock-a-fire Explosion

Welcome to Showbiz Pizza

Ahhh, Showbiz Pizza. That's nostalgic... way back when Saturday Morning Cartoons were good and Pizza was riding the wave of popularity brought on by highly trained amphibians with Renaissance Fair Flair, there was Showtime Pizza. Later bought out by the soulless Chuck E. Cheese (just look at the name for God's sake! He sounds Wall street already!) Showbiz Pizza was the original pizza place with arcade and robotic slave band. There was Billy Bob Brockali, Fatz Geronimo, Mitzi Mozzerella, Dook Larue, and Beach Bear, along with a whole bunch of 'gag' characters.

The "Faith" Show

There were also various performance reels that the restaurant could buy, each containing different 'sets' and programmed movements for the 'cast'. Unfortunately Showbiz seemed to lose the arms race against Chuck E. Cheese, eventually leading to all my Showbiz points becoming null and void.

Creative Engineering INC. made all of the robotics for Showbiz/Chuck E. Cheese. But they also made individual robots, including several various ape characters. A robot ape who speaks Shakespeare? Sounds like genius to this humble writer! But could the talking robotic monkey fetish be the beginning of the end?

Will the GoWilla

By the time the Myrtle Beach Showbiz converted into a Chuck E. Cheese's, I began to lose the faith. Sure, the temptation of using my good grades to receive tokens was still there (I remember a kid wanted to borrow my report card to score some tokens), but why spend my time in a place that smelled more and more like urine as the years piled on? Plus eventually, there weren't even any robots! The Cyberstar show came along, and all the action was being televised, I guess while the real band went on tour.

Cyberstar Fractured Rock

But was this all elaborate fantasy? Is the past always better than the here and now? For more answers, we need to take a look at the people behind the scenes. What about the character actors who had to live under the shadow of the robot talent?

Walkabout Training Video

Little Boxes

Malvina Reynolds! I first learned about her though a cover song my friend and occasional poster Miss Betty Cake. Well, unfortunately YouTube only has three pages of results on this wonderful woman, most of which are covers in the genre of 'Guitar Guys'. Damn!

Little Boxes

This song is featured currently as the theme song to Weeds, a series on Showtime. I like Malvina's version a lot and really dig this claymation version a fan put together, but I think Miss Betty Cake's version tops them all!

No Hole In My Head

This song is punk as fuck. Don't be confused by the singer's apperance; it was never supposed to be about looks! Just as badass as the story about how she supposedly wrote Little Boxes:

"I was once introduced as the woman who'd written so many songs, she must write one every day before breakfast. That wasn't true, so one morning I decided I better write a song before breakfast, and out came 'Little Boxes'."

That's right. Malvina whips out folk classics before breakfast.

Little Red Hen

Get it? Little RED Hen. Take that, House Un-American Activities Committee.

Thrifting the Past

Malakapalakadoo, Skip Two

This lovely gem is brought to us by the AV Geeks. We highly recommend checking out their archives, which are assembled from old news reels, presentations on schoolroom lunch manners, and sex education reels. Most of their archive can be viewed at the Internet Archive. In the past, this archive has been used by artists like Negativland and People Like Us to great effect. And because most of it was never designed for mass marketing, it's all under the Creative Commons. So get to work and start mixing up some video! You can expect us to be hard at work doing the same, with the Platypussy Friendship DVD finally coming to light this summer!

Three Holes

Special Time

It's wonderful to know that the Internet will help people share these gems for time immortal. However, it seems to lose a little bit of luster when not presented by a crusty gym coach with a speech impediment. But with a little makeup and wardrobe, I'm sure you could bootleg the magic yourself.